Should i be sucked into her guilt trip?

Your hubby is right...except I would have a very plain, one-time, sit down talk with her and let her know how things are.If she comes, unannounced, she's the rude one. Go ahead with your plans(do NOT include her) and leave her standing. If she gives you un solicited or unneeded "gifts", thank her, say nothing, and sell them asap in a garage sale. You owe her no explanations. If she doesn't get the idea one way, maybe she'll catch on another way. Remember, she's the one imposing on you. She's NOT considering your feelings or cirstances, so you owe her nothing.